Broken Discs

Late September, I broke my external drive. Like broke it broke it. It swung from my table and hit the edge like I was launching a ship. EVERY photo and file from the last 5 years is on there. EVERY photo of my kids for 5 years. Gone.

I sent it to a professional, they said irreparable. I’m currently trying another repairer, a very last ditch effort.

Needless to say I’m gutted. The irony? I was updating my website, after deciding to bring back Viva La Buttercream on a whim of good health. That’s what I was doing when I broke the only storage device that not only holds my kids photos, but also every photo and document ever created for Viva La Buttercream. All I have, is the publicly available photos. The rest, as they say, is history.

Now of course putting all these eggs in one metaphorical basket was next level stupid, and I know better, yet here we are. Believe it or not, I actually think the drive will be repaired, but I think I have to let go first.

Since it happened, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that this was a harsh lesson, not only in digital storage backup, but that you cannot keep digging up the past and calling it progress.

When to quit

I am SO proud of Viva La Buttercream. I built it from scratch with nothing but will power and gumption. I wasn’t born with buttercream skillz, I learned and practiced, and one good choice after another turned a simple cake page into an international teaching career. I’m very very proud. And I cannot let it go.

Friends have told me it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, I can keep one foot in etc. The problem is, if its not fulltime, its just vanity. But I also don’t want to lose all that work. So where does that leave me?

My health seesaws between I’m fine and I can’t get up. I realistically cannot maintain the professional life I once had, and yet I keep trying to hold onto it. And then BAM. One simple accident and any material I would want to use gone.

The way forward

There’s loads of things I’ve wanted to post that I thought either wouldn’t ‘mesh’ with Viva La Buttercream or if I did post it it didn’t do well. They are things that make me happy that I don’t share. I’m held hostage to the perfect memory of a perfect dream that cannot be again. I want to change that.

So I’ve decided to archive Viva La Buttercream, here on this website, while moving forward with The Chronic Homestead. VLB will always be important to me, but it’s my past and The Chronic Homestead is my future.

So expect Witchcraft, because I am a Witch and have been for close to 20 years. It’s a big part of me, and my life. Expect content on Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Mast Cell disorders, and chronic illness in general. Expect gardening, papercraft, baking, recipes, Sylvanian Families, papermaking, stamp carving and whatever other nonsense I find interesting.

So this is me, telling the universe that the past is the past. I’d like my kids photos please.

To what lies ahead, Kerrie x